Transformers: Revenge of Revisionists

AND WE'RE BACK... Our good friend, Da Lightskinn'd Assassin, decided he would rant about the completely awesome Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Without further ado...

I am not the type to proclaim superfluous Pan-African stories of early Egypt and how the great minds of Greece and Rome all learn knowledge from Timbuktu. However, I am tired of the racist revisionist’s tone of Hollywood: check Stargate, then The Mummy, and now Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Yet another science fiction movie that spews/spins the rouse about how all the Egyptian marvels and feats were alien-conceived and designed, those men of ‘woolly hair and bronze skin’ [sic] simply provided the physical labor. Bullshit! Why don’t these screenwriters re-imagine ancient Greece or even early Germany (I thought all Americans think that terrorism is ingrained in Islamic history)? Oh no, those civilizations remain untouched... but I digress.

I know some of you bastards thought I would have a whole diatribe about the Sambots in the movie. Ha! Yes, I was upset and ALMOST walked out the theater (“where is my phone?”, “dude I got your phone, we leaving”) then I did some research. Apparently, all the Autobots (except Bumblebee) learned to speak from watching television. Optimus Prime, I assume, watched PBS (shout out to Charlie Rose). So it is safe to assume the Sambots watched the Blacks Embarrassing Themselves network (106 & Park anyone?). Had they include this backstory, I think the Sambots would have been a social critique of the network ala Boondocks episode where the main character continuously watches the aforementioned network for weeks.

the boondocks - the hunger strike


Transformers had a horrible premise, no storyline and a dark hero who declares in the final battle scene, “I rise and you fall” [Didn’t Jay-Z say that to Dame Dash at some point?]. Overall, I liken this movie to Vanilla Ice’s Hard To Swallow... check the album reviews.

Kobe Haters Unite

TMB is branching out! That's right! I want to introduce you all to the kid's resident NBA head and all-around good dude (sort of), Da Lightskinn'd assassin.

While I was upstate visiting a friend, I asked my dude to share his thoughts on the 2009 All-Star game. Without further ado...

The NBA stars were out in Phoenix on Sunday. And to everyone's surprise, at least those betting on the WEST, Kobe and Shaq were Co-MVP of the 58th Annual NBA All-Star game. It seemed that Kobe was just playing along with Shaq, when in truth, he still despises him. Yet again Mr. I wanna one-up Jordan (check his uni number) has taken home the hardware with Shaq right there, just like his three championships rings. That gonna irk Kobe . He took an obscene amount of shots in the first quarter (try hoisting up 10 attempts in six minutes at your local Y and you’ll be sitting on pine) and finished with game high 27 points, but the big cactus Shaq still joined him at the podium. Reflecting on the nostalgia of playing with the big fella, “We are not going to go back to the room and watch Steel Magnolias or something like that," said Bryant (see the video below). True indeed but perhaps Kobe should check out the “I Love You, Man” movie with his rekindled bromance.

I suggest you all keep an eye out for this cat. He may soon have his own blog... or at least a login here.