Sunday, March 29, 2009

My Kind Of Celebrity Deathmatch

*NERD ALERT*



This is both awesome and ridiculous!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

No.

video

*sigh*

let me gather my thoughts.

what the hell is this? ray-j couldn't knock tigerlily up with a 15 minutes o' fame warranty baby, so now he's back to music? and with a soundtrack to a reality show? (of which i'm sure 80% of the songs have the word 'sexy' in or him speaking in third person.) seriously, i would have rathered they'd had the kid. i'm willing to wait the 20 years it'll take for the little one to come out with a tell-all book detailing his homelife with those two. i can see it now: cheetahface went all lisa bonet in "angel heart" and ray-j is bobby brown: "i'm still the king of r&b!" what i am not willing to do is watch this again. but for the sake of the post, i digress.

first things first: my apologies, must've missed that album release party (:04). but kudos to the usage of the fedora and cigar, because we've never seen that before in a modern music video, and you swallow like a pro (pause) (:12). not really a fan of the shout-out to God (:26). you know, the one that precedes the bling and champagne bucket shot, but i wasn't directing this trash, so more power to inconsistencies. and p.s. you're a keeper, for real, but the only girl who was ever "ready to do what you say" (:40) was kim kardashian. and now she's dating reggie bush. zing.

moving along...that joke about 'caviar' (1:06) was funny...like yesterday.

no comment on a single thing from 1:25 - 1:35. just more silent head shakes and tsk tsk's and prayers you don't try to get into acting (but realizations that 'chardonnay' probably will). wait...LOL at 2:05: "i know she wants to dirty up my mattress..." you get half-point for creativity. seriously though, pointing out everything that is wrong with this? i don't do free labor.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Kevin Smith Does It Again...

If you haven't seen Zack & Miri Make A Porno, please do yourselves a favor and see it ASAP. I don't want to give any of the best shit away, so all I will say is this: Porn is funny. Marriage to a black woman is not. And someone needs to give Craig Robinson either his own show or a lead in a film.



BTW, the one other scene I wanted to post was unavailable for embed but you can watch it here. The Mac and Superman... who knew? SMH.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

i want to hire this girl to sing and dance at my wedding.

what's really good in south africa?
no seriously. what, i say what, is really good.

someone failed to clue this girl into the fact that dancing (especially poorly) does not make up for your shitty singing voice. This girl is attempting to do a rendition of The Fugees' rendition of Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly," failing miserably, and, in doing so, making me fall completely in love with her. She sounds less like Lauryn Hill during her Fugees era and more like Lauryn after she had 80 babies and got all cracky. A hit at every lucky teen's mitzvah/sweet 16, indeed.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Lex Luthor Needs That Guap

If you know TMB, you know one of his heroes is Superman. Call me a nerd (I dare you), but the Man of Steel (no homo) has always been my favorite superhero. So, of course when I saw John Hamm portraying Lex Luthor in this Funny Or Die video, I knew I had to share it with you all.

I am not a fan of Madmen, in fact I have never seen an episode, but between this and his recent guest stint on 30 Rock, I may have to Netflix Don Draper and his boys.

I Seek Amy, I Seek Amy

WOW!

Britney Spears has done it again! I wouldn't call it a comeback (as per LL Cool J) but this video/song is dope. It seems like white girls are making all the good music right now -- Britney, Taylor Swift (yeah, I said it), Asher Roth and Kelly Clarkson. Peep Britney's "If You Seek Amy" below:

ScarJo Preps For Leather Cat Suit


Wow... Iron Man 2 is shaping up to surpass its predecessor real quick. Scarlett Johansson has been cast as Yelena Belova aka The Black Widow. Nice! And with her recent marriage to Ryan Reynolds, who plays Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, does that mean nerdom has a new king and queen?

In These Tough Economic Times...

You take the gig as it comes. Someone get me an app to this place.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

One Can Only Dream



TMB has done it again. First we did this. And then added her. And now... We introduce Uncle Gigolo. He's a newbie to the blog game, so take it easy on him. For his first blog, he thought he'd tackle March Madness. Enjoy!

Imagine Michael Beasley vs. Blake Griffin, Eric Gordon vs. Stephen Curry, Derrick Rose vs. Brandon Jennings, Tyler Hansbrough vs. Greg Oden? Dream match-ups that will only happen in a video game. Tournament time is coming and the latest and greatest one and done stars have come to play. The new batch of star include; Tyreke Evans, Kemba Walker, Demar DeRozan, B.J. Mullins and Greg Munroe. Besides Tyreke Evans, none look like they belong in the NBA right now. To say the least most of the stars from the previous draft could have done with one more year in college. Skill wise most of them are raw and needed more development. The experienced underclassmen look very strong, this time around. The added year has improved their game in an all round way. All these dream match-ups could have been now. Nonetheless, this year’s tournament the top twelve teams in the nation, will show the world why the one and done system is a waste of time. This year may not yield a strong NBA class; however the tournament has star power and will be very interesting. Will Curry show the world he is best shooter in the nation? Will Hansbrough finish his career with a Championship? Will Blake Griffin maintain his dominates? Is DeJuan Blair the beast from the east? Can Evans be the new Carmelo? Will Wake Forest win one for their late Coach Skip Prosser?

I cannot remember the last time; the tournament had so many sub plots. Get the office pools ready, some popcorn and drinks. This is the March I remember.


Stephen Curry Highlight:



Tyler Hansbrough Highlight:



Blake Griffin Highlight:



DeJuan Blair Highlight:



Tyreke Evans Highlight:



Wake Forest's Jeff Teague highlight:

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Get Terminated

In these tough economic times, I know folks get shook when they see the words "terminated," but in this case it's a good thing (unless you worked on the set of this film). Peep the new trailer for Terminator: Salvation below. Too bad the toys suck. Did you see Common's action figure? I know Com likes it and all.. but SMH

Monday, March 2, 2009

Pure Genius

The Frat Pack graces Vanity Fair's new comedy issue. If you have been a faithful reader of this blog, then you know how I fancy myself a black Seth Rogen (not really but I did love Pineapple Express). Either way, I will be picking up this issue pronto. I can't wait to see I Love You, Man.

On a semi-unrelated note, you all may notice that we have ANOTHER new blogger joining the fam. Everyone welcome, pants! I am sure you will quickly grow to love (or hate) her opinions on everything! Now if only Da Lightskinn'd Assassin would post something new.