Sunday, July 12, 2009
Transformers: Revenge of Revisionists
AND WE'RE BACK... Our good friend, Da Lightskinn'd Assassin, decided he would rant about the completely awesome Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Without further ado...
I am not the type to proclaim superfluous Pan-African stories of early Egypt and how the great minds of Greece and Rome all learn knowledge from Timbuktu. However, I am tired of the racist revisionist’s tone of Hollywood: check Stargate, then The Mummy, and now Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Yet another science fiction movie that spews/spins the rouse about how all the Egyptian marvels and feats were alien-conceived and designed, those men of ‘woolly hair and bronze skin’ [sic] simply provided the physical labor. Bullshit! Why don’t these screenwriters re-imagine ancient Greece or even early Germany (I thought all Americans think that terrorism is ingrained in Islamic history)? Oh no, those civilizations remain untouched... but I digress.
I know some of you bastards thought I would have a whole diatribe about the Sambots in the movie. Ha! Yes, I was upset and ALMOST walked out the theater (“where is my phone?”, “dude I got your phone, we leaving”) then I did some research. Apparently, all the Autobots (except Bumblebee) learned to speak from watching television. Optimus Prime, I assume, watched PBS (shout out to Charlie Rose). So it is safe to assume the Sambots watched the Blacks Embarrassing Themselves network (106 & Park anyone?). Had they include this backstory, I think the Sambots would have been a social critique of the network ala Boondocks episode where the main character continuously watches the aforementioned network for weeks.
the boondocks - the hunger strike
Transformers had a horrible premise, no storyline and a dark hero who declares in the final battle scene, “I rise and you fall” [Didn’t Jay-Z say that to Dame Dash at some point?]. Overall, I liken this movie to Vanilla Ice’s Hard To Swallow... check the album reviews.